Mindfulness Changes Series (002) – Let go of what you can’t take anymore and embark on making important changes in your life.

No one can make you change. No one can stop you from changing. No one really know how you must change. Not even you. Not until you start – David Viscott Risking

Change Ahead – What is it?

To change is to become something different. “Change Ahead” more often than not the focus is referring to a physical change. It means someone is about to embark on making important changes in their life that will have positive and lasting impacts.

 

Questioning in search for answers

There is a point in life when everyone desires for change. When the time to change hit you; you start questioning all things you have been doing. You start wondering why you have been doing the things you want to change. Lately I have been in search for answers concerning my life. This quench for questioning myself seemed to not let go of me.

 

Why do I act the way I do? What makes a difference in people’s lives? How do I change my character? How do I change my approach and the outlook when the world seems to be crushing around me? Why is it that some things come easily to others yet seems so hard for me? Isn’t there a way for me to become a better person? How did I even get to this point of breaking down? How have I lived for all these years now and yet feel like I haven’t truly lived the life that I desire to live? Why do I feel so empty? What am I known for? These are questions I have asking myself lately and seemed not to find answers.

 

I discovered that I don’t need to find answers to my questions to embark on the journey of change because time has its own way of revealing the truth. I guess I just must be patient and live life, sooner or later I will get answers to my questions.

 

The breaking point

“Each man has a breaking point, no matter how strong his spirit. Somewhere, deep inside him, there is a flaw that only the fickle cruelty of fate can find” – David Gemmell.

A breaking point is a time when you can no longer accept or deal with a situation because of too much pressure or stress. It’s a point in life when you feel like the stress levels are unbearable. At this point you feel lost, hopeless and lack a sense of direction.

 

During the year 2022, I experienced several life events that made me break from time to time until I reached a level when I couldn’t understand myself anymore. I kept denying my state which I knew was very dangerous to my mental health. I saw all the signs indicating I was breaking but I never did something about it. A few weeks to Christmas were even harder for me because I could even hardly accomplish the simplest assignments. I was handing in work with mistakes. I was confused, had lost a sense of direction, everything seemed meaningless including money and life.

 

My hope of bettering my life was challenged by my thoughts. For every minute that was passing by I felt like I was dying on the inside. I was burning out and I could not bear the burden of what I had become anymore. My boss, Samuel Jjuuko had shared about burning out and had asked that we take breaks and leaves but I never took it seriously. I had reached a peak where I couldn’t endure stress and anxiety anymore, but I kept saying that we were about to break off for Christmas holidays. That time I had just overcome a situation where my brother had survived Intensive Care Unit after a full and half month on oxygen. By the time we left the hospital I was physically and mentally exhausted and sleep or a work leave couldn’t take away the feeling of emptiness and uncertainty from me.

 

There no one in life that has never experienced a breaking point. No one is immune to stress or anxiety. However, learning to overcome a breaking point is crucial to success. Breaking points test us and with courage and resilience, we can turn them into defining moments for the better lives.

 

The Change Ahead

While I was going through all that mess and my life was at stake; there was a voice inside me that kept telling me that I must change. The need for change brought a battle with in myself. I was at war with the old and the new self. While my old self wanted to remain comfortable, my new self-made my mind uncomfortable asking for change. Instead of focusing my energy fighting the old, I chose to put my energy on building the new me. Socrates said, “The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new”.

 

During our last Friday discussion of the year 2022 on December 16^th is when I finally decided to embrace change. With all the questioning in my head and looking forward to a new year. I intentionally brought up a topic about goal setting to seek for answers why I was failing to fulfill most of my goals in the past. I asked my colleagues how they are able to meet their goals.

 

My key takeaway on that day was from my boss. He said “You do not need to set goals; just get into new environments and the rest of the goals will be sorted out”.  He added and said join worship harvest institute. From that day I could not think about anything else but the word environment. Luckily enough he had shared a link from worship harvest before asking me to apply which I did, and I was hesitant to proceed with the registration because I was worried about tuition and other costs attached to the course.

 

When the word new environment go stuck in my head. I told myself that my December salary would act as my initial tuition deposit and so here I am at the School of Leadership to embrace change. I am being stretched to do things I never thought I could do in my life. And because my mind is conditioned to work on several assignments; I am trying as my much I could to keep my mental health in a good condition and no longer give time to my bad thoughts and questions. I just chose to start because it’s all about me. No one can change me or can stop me from charting the course of change right now.

 

Change can be exciting but at the same time complicated. Change – big change – is difficult especially when you have a lot of new things to learn in an incredibly limited time. Mandy Hale is quoted in a saying “Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.” Knowing the pain, I must experience while embarking on the journey of change, I have crafted a Personal Change Commitment Letter to be able to stick to new changes ahead in my life when things get hard.

 

Summing it up

You could be asking yourself a lot of questions like me and feel not to find answers to your questions. Whereas we all go through different experiences in life; one thing we have got to understand is that each experience we pass through has a reason. If seriously analyzed; it can lead you to a point where you can make a decision that will ultimately determine how you live the rest of your life. It’s not what happen to you but what you do with it that matters.

 

For me I decided to join a School of Leadership at Harvest Institute. You could consider joining some environments too that are in line with the change you wish to see. Just decide to start and sign a personal commitment letter like I have done so that you get accountable. “You do not need a new year to make a change. All you need is a Monday” – Unknown. The year has just started, and you may still be stuck on how to move on with your life. Just take some time to reflect on the changes you wish to make and make this the week you change your life for better.

 

Thank you for sparing you time to read!

 

How many times have you thought or said to yourself – “I can’t take this any longer”. What changes are you willing to make in your life and what environments are you going to join. Kindly share your views in the comments section below.

****************************************