Mindfulness Changes Series (003) – I Am Grateful for My Workplace

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GRATITUDE

Ever since I joined SADRiNE on 01^st/October/2020, my boss, Mr.  Jjuuko Samuel has taught me so much. I have learned a lot from him and feel so much delighted to be working under his guidance.

 

Mr. Jjuuko Samuel , “Thank you so much for being my greatest source of inspiration. Thank you for your support, guidance, and encouragement. Thank you for the day you noticed that I was broken, and did not ignore but decided to help me out.” Whenever, I reflect on this day I realize that it was the starting point of my healing.

 

MY BIGGEST LIE GOT DISCOVERED

It was on Wednesday, 29^th/06/2022 that got me to discover that I had been lying to myself and everyone else. Whenever asked how are you; “I am okay” is the answer I had always given. In the evening as I was leaving the workplace, I went to my boss’ office to convey my evening greetings as I had always done but this time round, he noticed that I wasn’t okay.

 

I recall this conversation.

Me:  On the doorway I said, have a good evening.

My boss: Have a good evening too.

Me: Turning my back to leave the doorway.

My boss: Rashidhar, wait he said. Then he asked, how are you?

Me: I am okay, I replied.

My boss: No, you don’t look to be okay, he said. Okay, have a good evening and let’s have a talk tomorrow.

Me: Okay, I turned and left the office premises.

 

On the way back home, I asked myself how my boss noticed that something was bothering me. It bothered me during that evening and that’s when it hit me hard that I had been carrying this lie “I am okay” for a very long time yet deep down my heart was crushing from an emotional wound.

 

At around 08:00pm, I read a watsup message from my boss confirming my meeting with him at 08:00am the next day. The message made me scared and wondered what the conversation would be about. To myself I asked; is he going to fire me or scold me?  Are we meeting as a team? Is he going to ask me about the unfinished assignments? I couldn’t find an answer and in my heart I felt like forging a reason not to go for work the next day but I ended up going anyway because I couldn’t bear making a lie.

 

THE NEXT DAY STARTED

On reaching the workplace, I didn’t really give it much sought that I had to have a meeting with him but at 08:00am he alerted me that we had to meet.

I thought he wasn’t meaning it, I whispered to myself.

No, he meant what he said because he is a person who sticks to his word, I told myself.

 

I gathered up a notebook and a pen and showed up where the meeting had to be. I didn’t expect that the purpose of this meeting was for my boss to get to know me better. His questions were all pointing to discovering what was bothering me. He asked questions like; how are you? How is life as regards work, family, relationships? What are your plans? I wasn’t vulnerable enough, but I shared what was in my heart.

 

During that time I was battling with an emotional wound from a breakup and I wasn’t on good terms with my family which caused so much pain that had lasted for several months. Also, there were painful emotions that had been buried in my heart since childhood and they had gotten in my way of success, self-acceptance and joy. My boss encouraged, advised, and asked me to take time and heal from whatever I was going through.

 

THE STARTING POINT OF MY HEALING

After the meeting, my boss sent me a watsup. Here it went.

Heal First

It’s not surprising to see people go through the pain of something they know nothing about, suffering due to the pain of brokenness of other people. Children suffering from the pain of their parents and married people getting a share of the pain their spouses went through.

 

Most of us have gone through different pains at different stages and points in our lives and it’s very normal but what we forget to do was to heal properly from it before moving on to the next phase of our lives. It is not shocking to see a girl or guy from a broken relationship move on to another immediately without healing properly from the former thereby making the innocent person suffer.

 

It’s common to see wives or husbands mistreat their parents due to the pain from either their previous relationships or their childhood. The heart-breaking part are children who go through so much damage due to the actions and words of their parents. Despite being innocent, they go through a fair share of their actions.

 

All these can be avoided if we look more inwardly before making certain life-changing decisions. Look deeply into yourself, your childhood, and past relationships and see where things did not go well and how you have been affected and how it shaped you. Sometimes we act strong like we are not pained but the trust is we hide our pain and misery which ends up showing its head later in more ugly ways.

 

I know what I am broken and hurt from, and I know it is necessary for me to heal before I make some important decisions. This goes for all of us; we need to heal from whatever; it is before moving onto the next phase or chapter of our lives. This does not necessarily have to be marriage or kids. It could be anything.

 

Life will and cannot make so much sense if you have not been healed from previous pain. Without proper healing, the pain you think you have gotten over will pop up in diverse ways later on. You do not have to heal alone neither do I have to heal by myself, we can heal together. You can heal with the help of a professional or a loved one. There are things you cannot do alone and so you   require the help of others; you might not want to talk to anyone but sometimes you need to. Our healing is sometimes faster when we allow others to journey and walk with us. Having a support system will aid your journey a great deal.

 

Try not to drag anyone into your pain and suffering, especially children. Don’t get married until you heal from whether it is. Try not to say, “I will heal from marriage”. It might never happen rather it might get worse. Heal before anything and everything. You owe your healing to yourself and to no one else. Take your time and let no one rush you. It’s your journey and you need to enjoy every bit of it so the story can be more interesting and enlightening. Heal first so you do not bleed on people who did not cut you.

I wish you peace in your healing journey.

 

This was a message from my boss following the meeting I had had with him. I am not sure whether he personally wrote it or someone else but whoever did so; I am grateful. I have read this message repeatedly and it has brought so much healing within myself.

 

WE CAN HELP OTHERS HEAL AT WORK

In their book healing at work, Susan Schmitt Winchester and Martha I. Finney say that a workplace is a Lab for emotional healing. As much as the workplace might make you feel exposed, vulnerable, stressed, anxious or worried to the point that your happiness, confidence, and even physical health are at risk, the workplace can also help you heal!

We can use workplace environments and all those relationships as opportunities to heal from emotionally damaged past and build confidence. It’s in the workplace where we experience PERMA; that’s positive emotion, engagement, positive relationships, meaning and achievement.

 

SUMMING IT UP!

I wanted to express my sincere gratitude today towards my boss and work colleagues – Daniel, Rosette, Arnold, and Ismael for helping on my healing Journey.

Dear employers and work colleagues, are you helping your fellow workers to heal from whatever situation they are experiencing? If you are doing it; you are doing a great job to save a life and if you aren’t please kindly reach out to someone who is struggling, doing so might be a turning point in their lives. Words are powerful; they can either break or make us. My boss helped mend my heart by taking his time to speak words of value into my life. I am now better and healing every day. Let’s use our workplace to mend souls that have broken.

 

Thank you for sparing time to read!

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