patience-is-a-virtue-and-im-learning-patience-its-a-tough-lesson/
Introduction
According to Collins dictionary, If you have patience, you are able to stay calm and not get annoyed, for example when something takes a long time, or when someone is not doing what you want them to do. A Virtue is thinking and doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong.
Vasudeva Rao D M is quoted in a saying “Patience is a virtue you need to possess or a habit that you need to cultivate.” Patience is a virtue that holds tremendous power. It is a quality that allows individuals to navigate life’s challenges with grace and resilience. In a world filled with uncertainties and setbacks, cultivating patience is more important than ever. Patience is one of the noblest virtues. If you are patient, it means you are able or willing to suppress any annoyance from a setback or uncertainty without complaint or loss of temper.
The VUCA Class day onset journey
On 15th July 2023, I had a class to attend. Usually, the sessions start at 08:30 am but for this class, being a VUCA (Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity and Adoptability) class, a change was made by the administrator on the watsup group the day before the class at 07:59 pm. I was lucky to have been on watsup that day and so slept when I was aware of the time, I was expected to be in class which was 07:30 am. I woke up at 05:00am and by 06:00 am I was on the road.
Because I travel by public means (use 2 taxis to reach the destination), I had anticipated that about one hour and 20 minutes would be enough to cater for my journey putting into account any delays like traffic jam or minutes spent while waiting for the taxi to get full. I had been a diligent timekeeper in that all previous classes started when I was already in class. Unfortunately for the VUCA class, things did go as per my plan. The class was scheduled to start at 07:30 am and I reached the registration table at 07:39 am. What a frustration I experienced when I was considered late, and I struggled internally to remain composed!
Picture this
You wake up early, eager to attend on time the physical class for module that has been the most challenging part of the course. You meticulously plan your route, accounting for traffic and potential delays. However, despite your best efforts, you find yourself facing an unavoidable delay. As you get out the taxi you notice that it is 07:30 am and the class has started. You pace quickly towards the learning centre as you watch your phone looking at every passing minute, something that builds your anxiety, knowing that being even a few minutes late could make you lose out on learning something.
Then on reaching the registration table, as you are excited to join the class a realization hits you like a ton of bricks – when you are informed that you are late and registration officers, strictly adhering to the rules, inform you that you must pay a fine of UGX 20,000. The frustration and helplessness wash over you as you contemplate the unfairness of the situation. You may even find yourself questioning the purpose of such a steep penalty for a few minutes’ delay.
The Dilemma: A tale that tested my Patience.
Arriving at the registration desk, I checked my phone to register, time was 07:39 am. Hoverver, I was stopped from signing and got informed that I was late. I am late, I wondered! Because the normal rules were that classes start at 08:30 am and late is considered from 08:50 am. The frustration compounded when I was asked to pay a fine of UGX 20,000 before I could sign in and that is when I left like my patience was being pushed to its limit. It was a very disheartening and challenging moment for me to stay calm and composed as emotions like anger and resentment arose. The registration officers referred me to the finance person to explain my situation. In a conversation with the finance person:
Finance: Hello, good morning. How may I help you?
Me: Good morning! I strived to arrive here as early as possible before the class began but I encountered some delays on my way here and it turns out that I am charged late fees and I really don’t have the UGX. 20,000 you are asking for.
Finance: Oh sorry! If it was a plane, you wouldn’t have encountered any delay. If you don’t do not have the money right now I can add it to your tuition balance and then you attend the class.
Me: I kept quiet for about 3 minutes while I let him work on other people and there, I experienced a battle within my mind whether to return home, urge with the person or just pay the UGX 20,000 and attend the class.
The battle of rationality
As I assessed my willingness to pay the penalty, a battle waged within my mind. I reflected upon how important punctuality is and the need for rules to be upheld but on another hand, I reflected on how unfair these guys are and wanted to get money out of people because they had not even communicated that on such a day that penalty would be charged after 07:30 am and not 08:50 am.
I felt a mix of anger and disappointment. Internally I asked; How could a mere 9-minute lead to a penalty. Do these people know the hardship we go through to make money? Should I go back home and count this a missed class? Should I argue with these guys, pleading for leniency? Or should I accept the consequences, pay the fine and attend class. I couldn’t bear the forceful pay of the UGX. 20,000 and the emotions that arose caused heaviness in my heart. My patience was truly tested at that moment as I strived to strike a balance between what is right and recognising that rules are rules.
Finding the resolution
Although the fine seemed excessive, I considered the consequences of resisting or refusing to pay. I realized that engaging in an argument or losing my temper would not change the outcome. This was a system for which if I lost my temper it would lead to more significant repercussions like being dropped from the school or charged more penalties. Weighing the costs and benefits, I chose to accept the fine as an unfortunate consequence of my tardiness and informed the finance person to add the fine to my tuition balance, then I signed and entered class. As I sat in the class, I channeled my energy into finding a lesson out of the frustrating experience.
The Lessons I learnt:
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Punctuality is a very important aspect of life.
After the experience, I discovered a quote from Eric Jerome Dickey “Early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable.” This quote emphasizes the importance of being punctual. It shows us that being early is an ideal scenario, arriving on time is not enough, and being late is not acceptable. “Being early” portrays our respect for others’ time and shows a proactive approach towards our commitments. By arriving early, we allow for any unforeseen circumstances that may arise and ensures a smooth transition into the scheduled activity. It also allows for mental preparation and creates a positive impression of reliability and professionalism.
“Arriving on time” may seem satisfactory, but it can still be perceived as late, especially in situations where promptness is crucial. Being on time leaves little room for unexpected delays and can lead to unnecessary stress. It can also disrupt others’ schedules and create a negative impression, particularly in professional settings or social events. Being late not only reflects a lack of respect for others’ time but also implies a lack of responsibility and organization. Chronic lateness can damage personal and professional relationships, tarnish reputations, and hinder progress. It may convey a lack of commitment, reliability, and professionalism, leading to missed opportunities and potential consequences.
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Acceptance is a mindful attitude to embrace in the face of any frustration or challenge.
In life, we often encounter frustrations and challenges that can leave us feeling overwhelmed and disheartened. However, there is a powerful tool that can help us navigate these difficult situations with grace and tranquility – acceptance. When faced with frustration or challenge, the ability to accept the situation as it is can provide us with the clarity and peace of mind needed to move forward.
“Acceptance” is the act of acknowledging and embracing a situation, regardless of whether it aligns with our desires or not. It involves recognizing that we cannot change the circumstances we find ourselves in, but we can change our response to them. Acceptance allows us to let go of resistance that would serve to prolong our suffering. It gives us a peaceful mind that allows us to approach frustrations with composure rather than letting them consume us. Acceptance creates a room for self-reflection which opens a door for continued personal growth and learning. When you accept, you can act from a place of peace since you will assess the situation objectively and make conscious choices.
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When an unexpected setback occurs, seek understanding.
To effectively address a late penalty, it was crucial for me to understand its purpose. As I sat seeking understanding of my experience, I realized that I was under a system that had rules and though it was difficult to accept, ended up saying that rules are rules and exist for a reason. I noticed that late penalties are not meant to be punitive measures, but rather tools for encouraging punctuality and responsibility which serve as reminders of the importance of meeting deadlines and honoring commitments. Acknowledging this purpose helped me shift my perspective from frustration to a constructive mindset.
Summing it up
“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” – Leo Tolstoy. We always strive to be punctual and responsible in our daily lives. But sometimes unforeseen circumstances can throw us off track just like the feeling of frustration I experienced after I got slapped with a hefty fine. Being 9 minutes late to the registration table may seem insignificant but was a true test of my patience. Expressing anger or arguing with the organizers would only escalate tensions and create a negative experience.
Life is filled with unexpected twists and turns. And it is during these challenging times that patience becomes our guiding light. When faced with setbacks, it is natural to feel frustrated or discouraged. However, patience allows us to approach these challenges with a calm and rational mindset. It helps us find alternative solutions, learn from our mistakes, and ultimately become more resilient. Patience may not come naturally to everyone, but it is a virtue worth cultivating. It has the power to transform our lives and bringing us closer to success. By choosing patience over impulsiveness, we can navigate life’s challenges with grace. So, let us strive to cultivate patience, for it is a virtue that will enrich our lives in countless ways.
How do you normally react in the face of frustration? Do you remain composed? Patience is a virtue for everyone to cultivate. It isn’t something we’re born with, but something we can build over time. Like other disciplines: the more you practice it, the better you get at it. The next time you encounter frustration, pause and ask yourself; am I acting with patience?
*************** Thank you for sparing your time to read! ***************
