Mental Barriers – What are they?
These are obstacles in your psyche (spirit and soul) that hinder your ability to think, pay attention to something, interpret messages, solve problems, learn, memorize, shape perception, or make decisions effectively. These obstacles affect the functionality of your cognitive and emotional well-being. Whenever you cannot do or act on something it is a sign that you are interfaced with a mental barrier. With mental barriers in our psyche, we can never unlock our true potential.
I had a conversation with my mind
Over the past few days, I engaged in an internal dialogue in the form of self-reflection and self-awareness. This intention was to find out what stops people, me inclusive from accomplishing certain things in life. As I sat, I asked myself a self-reflective opened ended question. The question was.
They say that whatever we set our mind to can be accomplished. What about/what happens when it our mind working against us? Why do I sometimes feel like my mind is working against me and I can’t proceed with what I ought to do? What could be the problem?
The instant answer I received was “your mind is filled with mental barriers”. I continued to dig in because as part of intentional personal growth and self-improvement. It was extremely important for me to identify mental barriers that have hindered my progress to this point in my life. I deeply immersed myself into my mental container and I started drawing out mental barriers that have always hindered me from reaching my full potential and living a fulfilled life.
Mental barrier self-discovery
1. Self-Doubt
Self-doubt is the biggest mental barrier that has always confined me to certain limits. It has stood in my way and has always held me from pursing my dreams and completing things I start. From childhood to an adult age, I found hard time believing in myself. It was truly difficult for me to believe in myself, and all I could do was spreading negative energy. Self-doubt had become a huge mental health condition getting in my way of living a fulfilled life. I was too anxious about everything, and I used to overthink decisions as I tried to imagine all possible ways things would go wrong. Self-doubt if not addressed is a very big problem that keep most of us from reaching our full potential.
This year 2023 I wanted to challenge my doubts and so I embarked on a leadership course at Harvest Institute. My biggest self-doubt was that I could not write and publish a book. Oh, how could I? A person who believed that I am not good at English and did not perform well at it through school. I had little vocabulary and most of my conversations through school were in vernacular thus I was among those who used to wear dry bones in primary school for failing to construct a sentence in English. In secondary school I refused leading as a prefect partly because I was shabby, and I did not know how to speak good English. Not at a single point did I see anything good coming out of me, even though I was in school, and I was acquiring knowledge.
I used to say I am not a writer and writing is for a certain group of people. In fact, I hated moments when I had to write exams to pass to the next level. As I even write these blogs, I am still trying to convince my mind that I can share something of value to the world, but I tell you it is difficult for me. I am stretching with extreme pain. So, back to the book, as the year started the deadline for submitting my edited draft for review was 2nd September 2023. From January I kept telling myself that if I get through 2nd September 2023 with a book written and submitted that would be a sign that self-doubt shouldn’t be a big issue for me anymore. I am glad to say that I submitted the draft for review.
The small book accomplishment knocked down my high levels of self-doubt. The transformation from self-doubt did not just happen though for me to complete my book draft. A few endeavors I did was to assess my strengths and weaknesses from the very beginning of the course. I got into the habit of practicing self-acceptance where I accepted the good and bad about myself as I determined to address the bad. Surrounded myself with positive and supportive people who always lifted my soul and inspired me (these are my work colleagues). Engaged in writing a gratitude journal where I laid down my progress and wins. I parted ways with comparing myself with others and concentrated on working on “ME” because I realized that I am not in a race with anyone. Comparing “myself” today with yesterday is a kind gesture I offered to myself.
Stop doubting yourself and start challenging your negative thoughts, be kind to yourself and focus on growing in self-confidence. I repeat, stop doubting yourself because guess what:
You are busy doubting yourself, while so many people are intimidated by your potential. –themindsetjourney.com.
Let me tell you, someone out there less qualified, less experienced, is doing exactly want you want to do simply because they decided to believe in themselves. There is no magic to what they can do. It is just self-belief. I urge you to confront your doubts and let them know that you are not giving in to them. And as you do that soon or later a door of opportunity will be opened for you welcoming you into your full potential.
“Believe in yourself, your abilities, and your own potential. Never let self-doubt hold you captive. You are worthy of all that you dream of and hope for.” ― Roy Bennett
2. Fear of Failure
Failing to fail is a very big paralysis that requires attention for anyone desiring to progress in life. This disease has always gotten in my way of taking risks. I couldn’t get myself to invest my finances anywhere, even in myself for fear of making a loss. I couldn’t start exercising even when I was overweight for fear of failing to cut weight. Couldn’t set personal growth goals for fear of not achieving them. I would rather not undertake take certain initiatives for fear of making mistakes or being judged. In addition, I couldn’t speak up be it in class, at home, at work for fear that I would make mistakes and my contribution would be rejected.
I couldn’t share knowledge with others because I was afraid that I am not good at teaching. Social media was a part og my engagement for fear that my content won’t be read. In fact, I used to label myself that I am not a social media person and found it cool being away from social media. I couldn’t attend networking events or social gatherings for fear that I do not fit in. The list is endless. But how I have navigated this barrier is by intentionally working towards breaking it by taking a step forward and have graced myself with the fact the failure is an opportunity for growth. Failure is necessary for growth to occur and so I encourage you to embrace failure as a step forward for gaining fulfillment in life and allow yourself to learn from your mistakes. Why should you embrace fear? It is because….
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” said Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist.
3. Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk is an inner dialogue that gets in your way of believing in yourself and your ability to reach you full potential. Any thought that hinders you or limits your ability to make positive changes in your life is a negative thought. Negative self-talk is an extremely dangerous mental barrier that damages our self-esteem and overall well-being.
For a very long time, I think throughout my growth period to this point in life, I have been allowing negative self-talk to a take part of my mind. I have been overly self-critical, and often engaged in self-blame. Engaging in these activities has always given rise to the release of stress hormones like cortisol and due to chronic stress have always noticed issues with my health.
Negative self-talk it very dangerous; it can make you tense leading to pain all over your body. It interferes with your sleep because negative thoughts on your mind can keep you awake. Your immunity system can weaken, unable to fight infections and illnesses. Elevated negative thoughts can give rise to hormonal imbalances. For instance, as a woman you might start getting irregular menstrual cycles. Negative self-talk can contribute to digestion problems and can contribute to high blood pressure or risk your heart to acquiring a heart disease. Negative self-talk can affect your behaviors in a way that you will always look down on yourself and won’t engage in activities that help your health like exercise, eating healthy food or seeking medical attention. So, this is my encouragement:
“Don’t speak negatively about yourself, even as a joke. Your body doesn’t know the difference. Words are energy and they cast spells, that’s why it’s called spelling. Change the way you speak about yourself, and you can change your life.” ― Bruce Lee
To break this barrier, start practicing positive affirmations, challenge negative thoughts that circulate in your mind by replacing them with positive thoughts immediately when they appear, and surround yourself with supportive individuals who uplift and encourage you.
4. Trauma and past experiences or victim mentality
Trauma is an emotional, psychological, or physical distress that occur to you because of an event or a series of events that overwhelm your ability to cope. It could result from experiences like child abuse or neglect, war, domestic violence, physical or sexual assault, loss of a loved one, life threatening illness, serious accidents etcetera.
I have often found myself struggling because of past trauma; especially due to the domestic violence I witnessed growing up. Because of the experiences I went through as a child, I had developed any emotional scar and I think that these experiences triggered some of my funny behaviors and other mental barriers shared herein. I think I started accepting my past trauma last year and this year I finally came to peace with my past. How the transformation happened was after sharing some bit of stories about my past with my work colleagues. I became vulnerable and poured out my pains and through that I started healing slowly.
“A note to anyone who needs to hear it: We don’t ‘get over’ or ‘move on’ from our trauma. We are forced to make space for it. Carry it. Learn to live with it. And, sometimes, we thrive in spite of it.”- youth dynamics
Break this barrier by seeking help from your support system. Talk to people you truly trust and while you speak to then ensure to be vulnerable to them, engage in self-care practices like exercise, mindfulness, gratitude journaling and be kind to yourself.
5. Lack of Self-Confidence
The lack of self-confidence is a self-imposed limitation whereby we do not trust ourselves and our abilities. When our confidence levels are low, we hinder ourselves from engaging in personal growth. We put a restriction to seizing new opportunities and fail to realize achievements. I have been very low in self-confidence and some of the signs that indicated my lack self-confidence include avoiding challenging situations personally or professionally to protect myself from failure, living in imposter syndrome where I used to attribute my achievements to lack rather than my abilities. Often procrastinated putting tasks off for being unsure of my ability or for fear of meeting expectations. Isolation from social gatherings have been a part of me for fear of rejection and have always refrained myself from speaking in group settings etcetera. Think about this:
“If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started.” ― Cicero.
Start breaking this barrier by setting achievable goals, celebrating small victories, and stepping out of your comfort zone gradually.
6. Laziness
Whenever we fail to take action on the tasks, we set ourselves to do we consider it to be laziness. But laziness on the surface is not usually the issue but self judgement that acts as the blanket excuse whenever we fail to do something. When we identify ourselves as lazy it becomes our character flow, and we innocently confess how lazy we are and how do not feel like doing anything. What a mental barrier!
Laziness is when we do not have energy, lack the motivation of willingness to engage in any activity that is productive and purpose. It is reflected from the tendency to procrastinate, avoid challenging tasks or preference to remain idle or take leisure like watching TV, sleeping, browsing internet rather than engaging in work, taking responsibility, or carrying out meaning pursuits, lack initiative like not wanting to set goals, make plans or purse personal growth. It can also manifest in consistent delivery of less outputs due to the reluctance to put in effort.
Whenever we can not take action it usually either; “we do not think the action is important to us”, “we think the action is important to us, but we avoid it because will anticipate it will be difficult taking in the present” or “Its nice to do as opposed to being a must do.” My encouragement is:
“If something is important enough, even if the odds are against you, you should still do it.” — Elon Musk, CEO of SpaceX.
To break this barrier, start mobilizing yourself. Start small to avoid overwhelm. Eliminate distractions, create a routine, do not criticize yourself for being lazy. Instead be patient and kind to yourself. Celebrate small wins. Stay organized with to-do lists, calendars and productivity apps to track progress and deadlines. Make mindfulness part of your practice. Get enough sleep and seek help never needed.
The beauty of mindful practice
Engaging in a mindful practice like I did by questioning myself can reveal a lot about you. You become self-aware about yourself as you reflect. And it gives you a chance to pay attention to your emotions, feelings, and thoughts without judgement. You start understanding yourself, get to learn about your triggers, your behaviors and thinking patterns.
Soon or later your stress levels start getting down. Your mental health improves and things like mood disorders, anxiety and depression vacate your mind. Your focus and concentration improve. You learn to regulate your emotions and prevent your mind from impulsive/commanding reactions like “give me that thing”, “don’t touch what belongs to me”, “do this or that”. Your relationships improve as you start communicating better thus reducing misunderstandings and conflicts.
Conclusion
We need to tear down our mental barriers as a step towards embracing personal growth and self-improvement. Today we have looked at a mindful practice which is self-reflecting to draw out our mental barriers so that we can be able to unlock our true potential and live a happy and satisfactory life. Aside from the mental barriers I discovered in myself; there exists a lot of barriers that get in our away that I have not talked about like comparison, fixed mindsets, confirmation biases, rumination, perfectionism etcetera.
By identifying and tearing down these barriers, we can unlock our true potential and live a more fulfilling life. Let us embrace the journey of self-discovery. And find out what is getting in our way to reach our full potential. So much awaits us out there. And yet we are sitting on ourselves because of the barriers we allow within ourselves. Be kind to yourself, and remember that breaking these mental barriers is a continuous process that requires patience and perseverance.
Reflection
What mental barriers do you think are holding you from reaching your full potential? How do these barriers manifest in your thoughts, behaviors and decision making? How do you imagine your life to look like if you tore down your mental barriers? What opportunities or change do you recognize when these barriers are tone down? What smallest achievable action could you consider starting with? Self-reflection is an ongoing process and breaking mental barrier won’t happen in a day. You will require patience and deliberate practice while working towards breaking your barriers. Importantly be kind to yourself. Because you will find that your barriers are not easy to confess and get rid of. But aim at personal growth and at bringing a positive change in your life despite how long it may take.
**********Thank you for sparing your time to read*********
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