Comfort Zone – What is it?
A comfort zone according to the Cambridge dictionary is a situation in which you feel comfortable and in which your ability and determination are not being tested.
Most of the time, as human beings, we decide about what’s comfortable and what’s uncomfortable. That’s why the term comfort zone is essentially a psychological concept. A comfort zone is a state of mental and emotional well-being where we feel comfortable, safe, and relaxed. It is said, 90% of people stay in comfort zones. And that’s because in comfort zones, there’s little or no stress or anxiety.
Creating a zone of comfort isn’t something that happens suddenly – it’s something we gradually establish through our actions and habits. We slowly develop behaviors and engage in daily activities that are intended to reduce the risk of stress and danger. And over the years that becomes our pattern and routine. This routine becomes a permanent fixture in our lives, and we may find ourselves unable to break out of it.
A comfort zone may be the same activities and behaviors that we have been doing for a long period of time without any desire to alter them. For example, a comfort zone may include working in the same job for an extended period without increasing in quality. It may also include staying in the same place for a prolonged period, purchasing items from certain stores or supermarkets, sleeping instead of reading a book, and staying at home instead of traveling or engaging in community activities. It may also be portraying the same behaviors even though they are bad or our response to criticism, etcetera. In comfort zones, we live within our means and avoid pushing limits, avoid risks, challenges, and new experiences.
A reflection on my comfort zone
Before this year, I was stuck in a rut. I had spent most of my life in a nutshell; a small world where I only enjoyed life in very small limits. Never did I want to challenge myself and I was too scared to take risks. I’d rather let an opportunity go for fear that I would lose more than I would gain. Continuous learning was something that never resonated with me. And I thought that getting out of school was the only way to live a good life.
I mentioned in my blog,https://sadrineinfrastructureservices.com/2023/09/06/mindfulness-changes-series-010; that growing up, I had limited dreams. I always wanted to get out of school, get a job, and make some money to take care of my needs. Eventually, I got my wish and started working but with a mindset of survival, nothing more, nothing less. Life outside work consisted of watching movies, sleeping, and just sitting around passing the time. Reading and Writing were not meant for me, I would say. I preferred to be alone and not around people. And never did I like being told what to do.
In December 2022, I started burning out and felt like there was a missing puzzle in my life. My life was filled with emptiness, restlessness and unfulfillment. I began to think that there was more to life than I had experienced so far. I had lived an apathetic life. A life where I was never interested in most of the things including the so-called personal growth I now talk about these days. It was okay for me to do what I enjoyed and behaving the way I wanted. Living a life of mediocrity was okay for me. Even though I watched others grow, and personally I wasn’t wishing to discomfort myself.
Because of my lack of interest in growing myself, I always felt unconcerned, unmoved, and ceased to respond to the growth calls no matter what was said about me. My life was a kind that never bothered about what was going on around me and who I was. Whether people commented about my character or not, I never felt bothered because I was comfortable living with my character even though it was bad. Why? Because psychologically it is what I had built around myself over the years and it is what I felt safe with.
Innocently often when someone mentioned a statement I wouldn’t want to hear even if I knew it was true, I would respond by saying “I don’t give a damn”. So ignorant and comfortable with bad behavior, right? Growth wasn’t something that resonated with me. My life had become so monotonous over the years. But suddenly nothing exciting lay in my routine that I ended up in a dilemma and I didn’t know what to do with my life.
The Dilemma at the crossroad
In December 2022, I found myself in a dilemma at the crossroads. I had to choose between staying in a comfort zone and taking a leap into the unknown path. In my blog (https://sadrineinfrastructureservices.com/2023/01/26/mindfulness-changes-series-002) recounted this dilemma. In this blog, you’ll find that I was tired of sticking to the same old routine and wanted to try something new. I felt like I was suffocating because of how comfortable I was around myself. At that point, the questions kept coming and I was looking for a transformation.
For the first time in my life, I did not wish to return to the life I had known before. I was in extreme mental pain that I felt money or sleep and engaging in the same activities could not heal my pain, or replace the emptiness, unease, and lack of fulfillment I was experiencing. I couldn’t shake off the feeling that I wanted to change my character, find meaning in life, and fill the void of emptiness. In this situation, I came across a quote by Roy T. Bennett that stated, “You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.” I then realized that I needed to say goodbye to comfort and hello to challenge in 2023.
As I recounted in this blog post, it was hard to give up comfort and choose a path of discomfort. Indirectly I sought help from my work colleagues during the last Friday of the year 2022 before Christmas break. I asked them how they set and meet their goals and my intention was to figure out how I was going to make 2023 work. I had tried setting goals, but I had failed. In a discussion I allowed my mind be open to what my colleagues had to say. And out of the many things we discussed I chose only one idea. This was “Don’t set goals, instead join a new environment.”, my boss said. I hadn’t figured out this but my gut instincts accepted this idea as the answer I needed to get out of my dilemma and find life again.
The Escape from the comfort zone
In January of 2023, I decided to take an unexpected journey to find myself and grow as a person. I joined Harvest Institute and signed up for a leadership course, even though I wasn’t a leader and wasn’t certain of my financial situation. During my application I didn’t even know what leadership was. My expectations weren’t clear except that I was willing to learn whatever the course was to offer. At first, the only people I thought of as leaders were politicians and people in top management roles like directors, CEOs, and managers.
I joined not because I had any leadership experience. It wasn’t because I was looking forward to stepping into any kind of leadership role. But it was a path I embraced to help me fill my void and restore a sense of living. Taking on this course needed commitment, adaptability and came with a sense of responsibility I had never had before. Every activity was new to me. I’ve had to read two books a month and write synopses for them. I had to become a book author, stepped on a plane for the first time in my life among other accomplishments.
Initially, I was hesitant to take the unknown path. I have struggled with anxiety and discomfort. Most of the days I slept late to meet school deadlines for my assignments. The months of May to July were increasingly difficult for me and I felt like giving up the course. We were doing assignments every 2-3 days in what was termed as a VUCA mode of learning. And at some point I felt like I was losing my mind and wanted to give up.
However, I stayed on the course, I kept going, I adapted to change, and that season ended. What started as days became weeks, weeks turned into months. Now that it’s almost the end of the year and I’m looking back on this course, I can’t help but think it’s been a great opportunity to learn more about myself. It has sparked my passion for leadership, made me feel fearless, and has enabled me achieve some of my dreams. It has changed my attitude from “No, I can’t” to “Yes, I can”.
The course I took has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. It has been characterized by periods of growth pains and uncertainty. There have been times when it became increasingly difficult. Despite these difficulties, I have managed to make it this far, drawing upon my inner strength and resilience. I have resisted exhaustion, continued to learn, and pushed myself beyond my limits. I have sacrificed everything for this course, and I guarantee that it has not been a waste.
This leadership journey has been a source of growth for me. And it is the reason why my life has evolved. Because of this path, I can share a few details about my life. I have been able to uncover talents and strengths that I had not previously recognized, which have enabled me to become more confident and less prone to emotional fluctuations. Additionally, I have experienced a newfound sense of purpose and fulfillment in my life, as well as a transformation in my character.
What initially appeared to be a challenge has now become a source of success, joy, and fulfillment. If I’d stayed in my comfort zone and hadn’t taken the time to grow or if I had given up, I might have missed out on so many of the amazing things that have come my way. Or maybe by now I would still be stagnant, would still feel empty, unfilled and would be regretting like I was in the year 2022. I know now that the discomfort of embracing the uncomfortable has only been temporary and is a necessary part of attaining the best version of myself.
This journey of leadership has redefined the reason for going to my workplace. I no longer go to work because it feels like enforcement, and I must survive. Now I go to work because I look forward to grow and the environment allows me to. I go to work because there is a purpose as to why I am there. I see myself succeeding and attaining many more dreams while there.
All thanks to my workplace; SADRiNE because it is what contributed to my decision to navigate this unknown path I am bragging about. I truly value my workplace and I remember, a few months back when my boss asked me why I was still working at SADRiNE; my answer was “because I am growing.” Yes, the desire to grow is now my motivation to show up at my workplace. It’s amazing what this so-called path of challenge (growth) can do to your life.
The pain of comfort and growth
Growth is painful, changing from the comfort zone you have known all your all is too painful. But nothing hurts than discovering at a certain point in life that you’ve done absolutely nothing that truly makes you happy. Many times, living a life of convenience will keep you safe for a while, protect you from fear and discomfort. But in the end, most of the time, it will only lead to regret. You’ll look back on your life and be filled with regret as you realize all the chances you missed and all the potential you didn’t tap.
On the other hand, when you choose growth by navigating territories you aren’t familiar with and face the unease of uncertainty. If you put in the effort, embrace vulnerability and humanity to accept that you do not know everything. When you give discomfort a place in your life, push your self to evolve and adapt in all circumstances. You will reap the benefits you might have missed all your entire life. The path you have never taken can open your eyes, give you new ideas or perspectives and show you knowledge and experiences that can enrich your life. This path will teach you adaptability, which is a vital skill in this ever-evolving world. Personal transformation will unfold unto you. In the end you will look back and see only your successes and miracles.
Conclusion
Having looked at a comfort zone and a growth zone, the power to choose which path you will take is upon you. You can choose a comfort zone where fear, depression, tiredness, survival, mediocrity, and regret become your way of life. Or you can choose a growth zone where now life begins to happen. A zone where confidence, excitement, fulfillment, dreams, self-discovery, passion, purpose, success, financial freedom, fearlessness, legacy become your way of life. Growth flourishes in the discomfort of the unknown and each challenge navigated becomes a steppingstone towards a more fulfilled life.
We all love comfort in one way or the other because it is a safe place to stay. But growth doesn’t happen from there. Start discomforting yourself with growth. Try learning a new language, try out a new recipe, dance for the first time, sing, compose a song, visit the sick. Take calculated risks, step into unfamiliar territory. Learn something different from what you know. Set BHAGs (Big Hairy Audacious Goals) and strive for improvement.
Reframe your way of talking, start saying thank you, apologize, accept criticism. Say hello to a stranger, decide not to be angry, do a digital detox, read or listen to something you have never given attention to gain perspective. Go to an unfamiliar place, invest in yourself. Say yes to opportunities even if you do not know what to do and learn later. The list of uncomfortable things is endless. Be brave and do what you have never done before. Let this week be the week you dare to step out of your comfort zone and embrace discomfort as a necessary catalyst for personal transformation and a richer, more fulfilling life.
Reflection
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you felt stuck in a comfort zone? Can you identify any specific habits, routines, or behaviors that characterize your comfort zone? Are they limiting, fulfilling, or satisfying. Have you ever had a moment or event that spoke loudly in your ears to consider leaving your comfort zone, but you just let it pass? How about you choose growth today instead of comfort? How about you start envisioning your future journey of personal development and lay out goals and aspiration to aid you in taking an intentional step out of your comfort zone. Think about this, “what is more painful – Is it staying in a comfort zone or stepping out and venturing into the unknown”. The answer lies in how you perceive pain.
**********Thank you for sparing your time to read*********
